I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
