one might say we're banned from that church
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
