I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
