Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
