I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize