Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
