to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
