this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
