Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
