If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
