I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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