TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
