is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize