so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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