I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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