I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
