new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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