we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
