is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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