you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
