Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
this hospital has no fireball
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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