We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
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I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
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Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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