hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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