Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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