I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
