can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
