doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
