Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
