He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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