i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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