I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
