why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize