Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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