When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
