Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
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please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
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she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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