Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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