Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
