Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
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Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
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FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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