Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
