To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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