jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
