Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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