I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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