We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
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I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
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Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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