I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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