I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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