Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
