Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
