she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We have so much sex to catch up on
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
try to milk me bitch
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