I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
