please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize