ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
