I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
